“Human beings are works in progress that mistakenly think they are finished” Dan Gilbert

We are in a state of constant becoming. Every thought, intention, action is creating grooves in the psyche. As the adage goes : intention leads to thought which leads to feeling which leads to action, which leads to habit, which ultimately becomes character.

When you look at a building. You might see a solid fixed entity. But the reality is that the bricks are changing at the micro level. At the macro level, tenants are moving in and out, repairs being made, signs being put up and taken down. The building is a process.

You are a process too. You are never quite fully there, because each moment you are changing. A new thought is arising. You are interacting with the world in a different way. Biologically the brain is being remodelled, the body is changing, sensations arising and passing away. Behaviourally, you change. You are learning, and hopefully growing.

The self is a process, not a fixed entity. This can even be visualised on an introspective level through meditation by watching the impermanence of phenomenon.

Thoughts appear and disappear. Sensations arise and pass away. Views change. We put on different faces around different people.

How do we then think about identity, when we are in flux.

Identity as a map

I think of identity as a map. It is an abstraction that you can signal with. It’s a snapshot of a vast complicated network of influences, a way to encapsulate human experience in a word.

This is useful, as you can infer a lot about someone through a word. If you both identity, as Christians/Atheist/Agnostic, you can have that shared connection.

But remember : the map is not the territory. When people give you their identity, it often leads to :

1. Jumping to conclusions based on prior experience, rather than experiencing anew. So you never truly ‘see’ someone. Solution : Beginners mind. Drop expectation

2. When you create an identity for yourself, you feel beholden to it. That you must maintain a semblance of consistency. Instead : When the evidence changes, change your mind. Don’t hold onto identities. Have one of course, but hold onto it very lightly

This ultimately goes to the Zen point of Beginners mind. Empty your cup. Begin anew.

Die to Each Moment

“No man steps in the same river twice, for it is not the same river and he is not the same man” - Heraclitus

If we view life as radically impermanent- dying to each moment, the passage of time inexorably marching forward, then we can drop preconceived notions of how it ‘should be’ and instead accept ‘how it is’.

This is a ‘awe’ inspiring stance in the literal sense of the word. You begin to see without expectation, reward. Each moment becomes precious. Green becomes greener. The world becomes a magical place - as Blake said you can see the ‘world in a grain of sand’.

Thought can be ‘noticed’. Thoughts of how it should be, and could be, and was. Thoughts that (if unseen), leave an indelible mark on experience. That ‘this is not good enough’. The fundamental human delusion. Would it not be liberating to drop that at least for a while?

I forgot where I read this - but when asked how a man was able to see the world with such joy and childlike innocence, he said ‘I say yes.To everything that happens, I say yes’.

Dying to each moment, viewing it as impermanence, leads to acceptance which leads to peace.

Processes in life

Writing is a process. One never truly goes into writing something knowing exactly how it is going to turn out. It is a changing entity and deeply interconnected. It can trigger cascades of thought during writing, and even years after. I may read this when I’m 40, and that will hopefully set off new ideas in my (future) head. (But of course 40 year old self is almost unimaginable, because it too is a process).

Relationships are process. The coming together of two individuals, who then coalesce and morph. Usually couples become more similar to each other. They grow and change, and maybe even grow and change apart. Part of healthy relationships is realising this, and seeing your partner‘anew’ each moment, not holding onto images of the past.

Thoughts are processes. A useful exercise is to sit and observe thought. Where did it come from. ‘Who’ is thinking this. Where does the thought go. These of course themselves are thoughts which can be noticed. With closer observation, one can see that thoughts arise and pass away, they change, appear and disappear. They are constantly becoming.

TLDR : Life is a verb. Not a noun.

To me, photography is an art of observation. It’s about finding something interesting in an ordinary place… I’ve found it has little to do with the things you see and everything to do with the way you see them.” — Elliott Erwitt

I want to document more. To become a better photographer. Inspired mostly by Simon Sarris’s post.

A way of seeing

I used to be of the opinion that taking photos takes you out of the moment. But I’m coming to realise, that pondering a photo allows you to see with greater detail

You are paying more attention to visual stimuli. Noticing how the light falls on the subject, how colours intermingle and mix, and how framing creates a narrative.

Simon Sarris talks about how one should document the mundane. It allows you to see details that you once took for granted. To pay deeper attention to life. Observation is a skill you can develop and train. It is a rediscovering of the ordinary

Narrative building and posterity

I want to create. Write fiction. Photography is another medium I can do this. As they say, a picture paints a thousand words.

I enjoy going through photo books. Possibly for the same reason I enjoy writing in a journal. It’s a way to craft the ‘story’ of a life. Your life is a narrative you create, most of it is up to your interpretation. This can be incredibly useful as it allows you to reframe events such that you suffer less.

By taking photographs, I can capture a moment of time. A echo of photons etched onto a digital sensor. Another reminder perhaps of impermanence. And then the magic of memory can ‘fill in the gaps’ to whateverinterpretation I want, to choose to specific ways of remembering.

Take more photos

Approaching 26, I think I would regret not documenting more. More importantly, I want to cultivate certain ways of seeing. Paying attention. Stephen Batchelor writes about this way of attending and how it “leads away from fascination with the extraordinary and back to a rediscovery of the ordinary”.

This YouTube video captures the idea of ‘documenting the mundane’ :

Delete more photos

Paradoxically, you want to delete 90% of the photos you do take. I struggle to delete, so I instead just curate. Pick a few good ones. When you look back, you only need one or two to remind you of a moment.

You are not seeking to capture every single event that happens. But more bring back the ‘feeling’.

We do not remember days, we remember moments - Cesare Pavese

TLDR: Local is better than global

I’m at one of those transitional stages in life where I’ve been thinking about how I want my life to look like.

It has largely come down to being embedded deeply in a community. Mormon but without being mormon

Modernity

What typically happens as you get older is that everyone distances themselves. Either due to career or spouse. We live in atomised societies. For most people : they take the car everywhere instead of walking.

We barely know our neighbours. We are stuck in long commutes due to necessity. Family don’t live nearby, meaning that couples are raising their child alone without grandparents, aunts or uncles. Our friends don’t live nearby. The social fabric is coming apart at the seams.

This is largely out of people’s control for a few different reasons: loss of large families, travelling for work, rise of secularism, financial necessity. Probably many others

This is more common in the individualistic Western world, but is becoming more common in Eastern societies too.

Hyperlocalism

I think back to when my Mother was a child. She was surrounded by such a large family and community. Every time we would visit India, she would know everyone and I would be frustrated that we had to meet so many people. She was deeply embedded in a community, growing up in the same location, large family, large set of friends. I could tell she acutely felt that loss when she moved to the UK. Living like this is becoming rare in the West.

As a teenager, I had this utopian vision that all my close contacts would be living on the same street, I would walk to work, I would frequent the same cafe, gym etc. I would have the same barber for many years. A ‘hyper local’ environment.

Why is this better?

Why have this mentality? This goes back to my previous post on Friendship and Relationships. I’ve been thinking about this topic a lot.

All the real gains in life are from compound interest. By spending more time with the same people, you develop deeper relationships. Buying your own house is better than renting and moving often. Running into the same people is better than being surrounded by strangers. Walking is better than driving. Working with the same people in your job, is better than working with people who rotate around every 4 months. Having purposeful work is better than meaningless work.

How to achieve this

In my mid 20’s : I think working towards this is possible. A few thoughts :

• Live in such a location where you can walk- Avoid ‘urban sprawl’. Ideas coming to mind : Cambridge, Hitchin, Certain areas of London
• Live near family
• Live near friends
• Live in a place long term
• Live near work
• Live in green environments
• Have a common ‘third space’ that isn’t work or home e.g. gym, yoga, coffee store- where you are a ‘regular’
• Have a large family

This isn’t possible for many due to finances, work, career, and spouse/partner. But I think it is possible for current you.

Conclusion:

I want to grow old doing meaningful work, surrounded by long term relationships, and contributing to a community. Embed yourself in a community