A fool only learns from his own mistakes. Better to learn from the mistakes of others.
Here is a compendium of mistakes that one should avoid, mostly inspired by reading this thread
1. Don’t continue a relationship without compatibility One of life biggest traps is continuing a relationship with someone you are not compatible with.
Especially with the inertia of your 20’s, a relationship that should have lasted months, can last years.
Honest, not necessarily correct
We interpret the world through a lens that is molded by our own personal experience and conditioning. Through this, we ascribe meaning to actions and try to intuit intention of others - theory of mind.
There are clearly situations where this faculty is completely off though. For example : Unrequited romantic interest.
The more dangerous aspect of this, is that we are blind to it.
Urgency exists in the mind, not in the world
I like empty days. Empty weeks. Empty calendars.
Yet when I talk to other people, they often pride themselves on how busy they are. Having an empty schedule is anathema.
The culture at the moment is that being busy is good.
The hidden message seems to be that by being busy you are doing something important, and by doing something important you must be an important person.
I’ve just started drum lessons. This is a reminder that one on one tutoring is the best way to learn something well (and quickly).
Why? You don’t know what you don’t know. The tutor has a map of the landscape and can craft a pathway through it. This is arguably the most important point. Real-time correction : the feedback loop is shortened. Bad habits are not reinforced. External motivation : someone to impress What makes a good tutor/teacher?
Some people look for a beautiful place. Others make a place beautiful
Hazmat Inayat Khan
The Office on the surface is a boring uneventful show. It’s literally about a failing paper company. People with ordinary lives. Mundane lives filled with the triviality of everyday.
Yet it’s probably the most compelling show I’ve watched (and rewatched). Why?
It comes down to the people.
It’s a show about ordinary people. Fallible ‘boring’ yet interesting, funny, angry, sad, loving, caring, destructive, chaotic and frustrating people.
Turned 27. I am going to make some personal predictions.
Predictions Career : At the moment, I can’t imagine doing anything other than radiology. Endlessly intellectually stimulating, purpose inbuilt, varied, time to enter flow states, social at work, chilled out. Prediction is : MSK/GI Radiology as a specialty.
Love. Regular metta is slowly infusing the world with joy.
Location : Trees/Forests nearby with easy access to the city.
There is a spectrum of SpongeBob - Squidward.
Squidward represents apathy. The mechanical man. Routine. Solemnity. Fear of the opinion of others. Self-rumination. Seriousness. ‘The world must conform to my will, otherwise misery’.
SpongeBob represents play. Flirting. Treading the boundary between acceptable and unacceptable. Humour. A lack of self consciousness. Presence. ‘Tao : flow with what arises’.
We vacillate between these two extremes. We don’t want either all the time.
I had 2 YouTube channels as a teenager. One of them regularly had 1K+ views on Minecraft let’s play with almost 20 episodes.
One video hit 1 million views.
As a self conscious 16-17 year old, prompted by a comment from a friend - I deleted it. I never made any backups. It was gone.
Similarly, I had a notebook with loads of short-stories/insights. One day I just decided to throw it away.
If anyone asks me for advice on how to know if they should pursue a hobby / job / career / spend more time with a person, a safe and actually very useful heuristic is:
Pick the thing where you lose track of time when you do it
It automatically fixes a whole bunch of priorities. If time is flowing easily, it means that
You can do more of it The self is not overly salient.
Friendship and relationships are really important. We all implicitly know this, but the way modern life has been constructed has arguably made it more difficult. If not difficult, then at least it has changed the rules of the game.
I’ve already written about friendship - which you should read (mostly summarised points from Robin Dunbar’s recent book). A few salient reminders and additional points for myself.
You are the average of the 5 people you surround yourself with