== kensho ==

creation and eyeballs

TLDR : Shower thoughts and too much time on psychiatry

I stumbled on a vlog on social media, recorded in 2012 by Nerdwriter1. One line caught my attention :

“Whatever medium of shared expression you choose will be the medium by which you’re asking to be judged…”

Facebook/Instagram/Twitter are not private journals and they are posted with the knowledge that others will see it, and react to it. Some part of the creation process is performative. It’s a throwback to a thought on digital identity where I mentioned the ‘Looking glass theory’ of the self.

We create a self model based on what others think we are.

I’m coming to realise that sharing any creation has a performative element to it. We want to be perceived in a certain way. That’s not a bad thing, but its interesting to watch it. How do I want others to perceive me? And is there a big mismatch between my perception of myself, and others perception of myself?

I think I’ve come a fairly healthy place from which to use social media. But I want to remind myself/future self that there is value in anonymous and private creation too. Not everything has to be shared.

“Not everyone has to be an artist… but there is something to be said for a little bit of reserve when it comes to expression, that way you can preserve some of your own mystery… you can escape some unnecessary judgement and you can recover the power of your own voice”

I’m looking back at some old posts on this blog, and slightly cringing. I imagine I’ll do the same when I look back in 5 years time. I’ve written some short sci-fi stories that I’m going to spare anyone the trouble of suffering through. But I enjoyed the process of creating it for the sake of creating it. I’ll keep them private/draft on the blog.

It shifts the motivation from an ‘extrinsic to intrinsic’. I think to be peaceful, you should line up as many aspects of your life such that you are acting from a place of intrinsic motivation.

That said, I can share this post and any future posts with the awareness that I kind of want to be perceived in a certain way, but that’s ok. Just don’t let that become the focus.