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== kensho ==
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regret

People regret inaction more than action

  • Consistently- people regret not doing. Example : people regret NOT asking out someone, rather than asking out someone.
  • Actions can be undone. Inaction is harder.

Daniel H. Pink describes 4 consistent categories of regret seen across different ages and cultures.

1. Foundation Regrets

‘If only I’d done the work’

Examples

  • Not taking care of health
  • Not studying harder in school
  • Not saving enough money

2. Boldness Regrets

If only I had taken the chance

Examples

  • Asked out guy/girl
  • Spoken up / spoken my mind
  • Starting a business
  • Travel

3. Moral Regrets

If only I had done the right thing

Examples

  • Infidelity
  • Lying
  • Bullying

4. Disconnection Regret

If only I had reached out

Examples

  • Not connecting with an old friend/colleague

Getting over regret

You have to reframe and disclose the regret. The main way is to say

Next time - I will do X : Specific action.

For example - if struggling with boldness regret - be specific - and say next time I would be more direct and ask that person out.

Personal

The two most stand out for myself depend on the stage in life.

At university : Boldness regret. Should have taken more chances

Currently : Disconnection regret. I should reach out to more people. Act as a host.

Conclusion

Aim to minimise regret. You will regret inaction rather than action.

I’d rather regret the things I’v done than regret the things I haven’t done